


his chilly thoughts.

by AlexTheDuckPotato



Category: Hetalia: Axis Powers
Genre: Angst, Feelings, Gen, I Tried, I'm Sorry, Inner Dialogue, Sad, Sad Ending, Slight swearing, Swearing, he just wants to be friends with everyone, invasive thoughts
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-01-10
Updated: 2019-01-10
Packaged: 2019-10-07 14:54:13
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 502
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/17367980
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/AlexTheDuckPotato/pseuds/AlexTheDuckPotato
Summary: Russia’s inner thoughts get the best of him. He tried to get them to shut up, but they never listen.





	his chilly thoughts.

**Author's Note:**

> hey! hello!  
> so the style/inspiration for this story actually came from the book "Turtles All The Way Down" (just finished reading it), with the inner dialogue displayed as italics. it's also based off a short comic i found: https://www.deviantart.com/ially/art/Reaching-out-348838737  
> hope you enjoy this small thing i wrote, i guess.

He was the last one out of the building, making sure everything was secure before heading out for the night. He saw the rest of Allies and the Axis walking out together, hearing them as they walked farther down the snow-covered sidewalk. It was tempting to call out to them, asking if he can walk with them. Of course they ignored him in the building, so why would they answer him now?

He couldn’t remember a time where they weren’t scared of him. He tried to talk to them, to both empathize and sympathize with everyone. Sure, he’s done some things and can seem like a horrible person, but he’s never had many friends. Hell, he’s never really had any  _ real  _ friends for as long as her could remember. It gets lonely after a while, no one with you to fill the silence for days on end. He was tempted to follow them, to see where they were all going. Maybe even call out and ask if he could go along with them.

 

_ You know they’ll say no. _

 

He stopped for a second, the wind blowing lightly in the silent evening. There were back. The thoughts he hated. They held him back from even reaching out to the others, from talking to them, from even looking at them. They grew worse every time, and now he didn’t even know how to cope with them.

 

_ They’ll shove you away like everyone has. They’ll label you as a horrible person, as cynical, domineering, inconsiderate, aloof…  _ Why now? I just want to talk to them…  _ hostile, belligerent…  _ Stop… _ deceitful, cruel…  _ Fucking stop…  _ and your favorite one: malicious…  _ I’ll do anything just stop stop stop stop…

 

He felt tears swelling up in his eyes, his legs growing weak underneath him. The wind overpowered the sound of soft sobs escaping his mouth, violet eyes watching the rest of the group fade into the crowd of people, leaving him alone with his thoughts once again.

The group came across his mind once again: America’s heroic laugh, England and France’s constant bickering, Italy’s constant chattering that was pleasant to listen to, Germany’s sternness, Japan’s mood sensing, and China’s mysterious way of living. Each trait made each of them unique in their own way, all of them being in good ways. While for him, he was just seen as a walking disaster waiting to happen. He sensed the fear in others, and while he pretended not to notice, it made him feel like another knife has been stabbed into his already scarred-up body. Eventually, the scars would begin to fade, but they came back twice as big each time.

 

_ Told you. They don’t fucking care. Why don’t you just give up already…  _ I can’t…  _ Why not? Sure, you can’t die, and neither can they, but that doesn’t mean you can’t hurt them emotionally…  _ stop…  _ They did the same to you…  _ i’m begging you just stop…

 

He sprinted in the other direction, the thoughts taunting him with no end in sight.

**Author's Note:**

> thanks for reading!


End file.
